Assumptions
by xMadgirlx
Summary: When you assume, you make an ass out of you and and me. " - Paul, 8 Simple Rules. SLASH


Why do I always have plot bunnies forming in lessons? Oh well, to late to be asking this now. I might never post this, it might just stay in my laptop forever, never being read by the public. 

Just for the record, I hate Valentine's Day, but I had a plot bunny so I decided that why shouldn't I make my new fics based on Valentines Day? Who here likes Valentines Day? I bet loads of you do. 

This is slash, for those that don't like slash then I suggest that you don't read it.

Anyway, this is supposed to be a bit humorous, so relax and enjoy! I give you:

Assumptions 

Sirius had to tell somebody, the secret was burning in his chest like fire. How long had he kept this secret hidden? Too long. Something about seeing Lily finally agreeing to go out with James had made Sirius make up his mind – he was going to pledge his love to Remus. It wouldn't be hard, he'd just need to say a few sentences and then Remus would accept or not accept. Besides, it was Valentine's Day, it wouldn't matter. If Remus said no, (which Sirius sincerely hoped wouldn't happen) then he would probably think that Sirius was just being an idiot or he had one too many Butterbears.

Sirius didn't even know what made him make up his mind to tell Remus that he loved him. Just watching the glee on James' face when Lily said that she'd go out with him, made Sirius think, _I wonder if I could be as happy as that?_ Sirius was so carried away in his thoughts that he almost didn't see the gorgeous werewolf that he ran into. 

"Oh, sorry." Sirius felt his face get hot.

"No, no, it's my fault," insisted Remus. His brown hair fell into his eyes, giving the gold flecks in his eyes more distinction. Remus licked his full, red lips. "See you later!"

"See you!" Sirius replied. How could one person make him embarrassed when he had known him for years? Whenever Sirius saw Remus he got hot and bothered, but as soon as they started talking, things were great. It was just getting started that was the problem.

***

Sirius was almost physically shaking with nerves. He had asked James if he could speak with him about a problem that he had. If it was going to be this stressing just asking another person advice, imagine what it would be like actually asking Remus out! Maybe he wouldn't have to, maybe James would put him out of his misery and say that Remus was straight so Sirius had no chance. Would Sirius be happy? It would make things a lot easier, but would he be happy? Would he be happy knowing that the one person that he longed for, the person that he _needed_ wasn't interested in him? No, he would not be happy, he would never be able to get the visions of the golden eyed god. He would never get rid of all those What Ifs and daydreams that Sirius' lips would meet Remus' soft, red ones.

James had arrived. He had a grin plastered on his face, a lot of people had commented on how James had seemed to have accidentally copied Sirius' smile. Did Sirius always look as goofy as that? Apparently. Sirius made himself a mental note to work on his smile. 

"This better be good, Padfoot," James drawled. His jet-black was messier than usual because he had only just gotten out of bed.

Sirius covered his ears. "Don't do that! You know how much that reminds me of my cousin's boyfriend!"

"Speaking of boyfriends." James smirked. "Did you know that I'm…"

"Yes, yes, I know! You've only told about eight million times. You're loosing your touch, Prongs. I expected you to tell me at least ten million times by now."

"Oh, shut up!" shouted James. "I don't see you snogging anybody."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about…" James interrupted Sirius.

"Sorry, Padfoot, you're not my type," James said, grinning.  

"I wasn't talking about you! Don't flatter yourself.  Doubt Remmie'll be pleased if all those anti-bigheaded lessons went to waste!" Sirius gave a bark like laugh. "You may steal my grin, but you'll never steal my laugh!"

"And I don't want to!" James said. "Your laugh is scary."

"Is it now?" Sirius cackled like a mad man until had a coughing fit.

"Serves you right!" James exclaimed. Sirius gave James an intimidating lethal glare. "You'd better stop that. One day someone will mistake you for murderer."

"Only because you would drive me mad," retorted Sirius. There was a moment of silence then both James and Sirius burst out laughing.

"Now," began James, "what did you want to talk to me about? Something about snogging somebody…" James trailed off.

Sirius turned red. "Imm mmim mmmummm mmmimm mmmemmmumm," he muttered. 

"What? Sorry, I don't speak mutter," James replied dryly. 

"Fine. _I'm _in _lo…_" Sirius' voice faltered.  

"What? I also can't lip-read," James said.

"I give up!" Sirius threw his hands up in defeat. "You won't take me seriously so why should I tell?"

"No, no," James protested, his hazel eyes were full of concern. "Please tell me. I was only fooling around. Who's the lucky lady… or man?"

"That's the problem, Prongs," came Sirius' reply.

James' eyes widened when he understood what Sirius was on about. "I can't believe… at first, I thought I was hallucinating. But then it became more and more obvious, and then I couldn't deny what I saw. You're in love with Mrs. Norris!"  
"**_What?!_**" Sirius shouted, completely gob smacked , "no! You're insane, James Potter. I'm in love with Moony, you idiot!" Sirius paled when he realized what he had just confessed. "Oh God, has anyone heard? Has Moony heard? Why did that joke to get to me? Oh why? Why? Why?"

"Sirius, calm down," assured James, "nobody heard you. You do realize that you made me get up at four in the morning just to heard your confession?"

"Oh…" Sirius blushed. "Sorry."

"That's okay. Well, I take it that you wanted to not only get that off your chest but you wanted me to help, right?"

Meanwhile, Remus Lupin crept downstairs, making sure that the staircase didn't creak. He had decided to investigate when he heard someone shout something like: "what." He was now at the bottom of the stairs and could see two figures. One was very tall and the other a little smaller with very messy hair. Sirius and James. It had to be.

"Tell him," James said. 

"I _can't_, Remus will hate me," Sirius replied. 

What would make Remus hate him? Remus wondered, he knew that no good came out of eavesdropping, but something told him that he needed to listen to this.    

"He won't," assured James. He put a hand on Sirius' shoulder. "He may even like the idea.,"

Like what? Remus really wanted to know what they were talking about.  

"Really? No, you're pulling my leg," said Sirius. 

"He won't be mad, trust me, just ask him and all will be well," responded James.

Ask him what? Remus was getting a little angry. Then something clicked. Oh, that's what they were talking about. But it couldn't be! Surely Sirius liked someone else. It just couldn't be. It did make sense, though. All those stares and blushes and stammers. Well, Remus was going to give Sirius a piece of his mind.

***

Sirius had been instructed by James to tell Remus that he loved him straight after breakfast. No later, no earlier. Sirius was always one of the first people at the breakfast table. He usually got up early in the morning, had breakfast and then took a nap until classes were about to begin. It was the same routine at his house, Sirius would do _anything_ to get out of his family's way. 

When Remus walked over to join him, Sirius almost grinned but stopped himself. He thought about how goofy James looked like when mimicking his grin. Remus frowned when he sat down. His brow furrowed. Remus' long, delicate fingers took a bread roll out of the pile. Remus nibbled a tiny bit of his bread. Sirius wished that Remus would do that to him. 

"Is anything wrong, Sirius?" Remus asked. He put the bread roll down, and his golden eyes stared into Sirius'. 

"Not all," Sirius replied, he felt his cheeks getting hot again.

"Hello, Sirius," a tiny voice greeted. The voice belonged to a girl with light brown hair, quite small. She was beaming at Sirius. It was Remus' sister.

"Hello, smelly," Sirius replied.   

"Shut up!" she protested.

"Well, smelly," Sirius teased. Him and Lacy, (Remus' sister) were always teasing each other. Were always joking around, it felt good to be close with a sibling of one of your friend's. "Happy Valentine's Day! Have you asked that boy out yet?"

Lacy blushed. "Remus, can you shut him up?"

Remus laughed, his laughter felt like music to Sirius' ears. "I've been trying to shut him up for years and it hasn't worked."

"Very funny, Moony," Sirius said sarcastically. He waited until Lacy had met some of her friends and sat down with them to ask Remus if he could have a talk with him. "Well, would you? There's been something that I've been needing to ask…"

"Same here," Remus interrupted. His beautiful eyes were full of sadness. There was something really wrong. 

"Wormtail and Prongs will be off to breakfast soon, so we can talk in the dorm, okay?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, yeah." Remus sounded as though only half if his mind was concentrating. 

That time didn't take long. Soon, Sirius saw James and Peter coming down the stairs. Peter was looking a little flustered and stressed. He was probably thinking that he would get a bogus valentine. James however, had a smirk on his face. "Hey, Evans!" he called, "I love yah!" Lily's cheeks went a beetroot red.

"We'd better…" Remus interrupted him.

"Yes, yes, we'd better go. The sooner we get the this over with, the sooner we can celebrate Valentine's Day the way that we want." Remus didn't sound like himself at all. Normally, he'd be very calm and patient, he wasn't now. Something was definitely wrong.

It didn't take long to get to the dorms. Remus gently touched Sirius' hand, Sirius felt a huge jolt in his stomach. Remus raised a golden eyebrow when Sirius stumbled into the dorm. Sirius almost grinned, but then thought better of it. Remus frowned again. 

"You go first," Sirius said. 

"Okay," Remus began, "I… heard you last night." What? Did Sirius shout that loud this morning? He wanted to crawl under his bed and die. 

"Really?" What are saying, you idiot? Just get over with and kiss Remus!

"Yes, really." Remus looked a bit upset about something. When Sirius looked closer into Remus' hypnotically beautiful golden eyes, he could just make out small tears. 

"Remus, are you mad?" Sirius asked.

"I'm not mad, that's what you were worried about, wasn't it? Don't worry, I'm not mad. I'm just a little… surprised. It was right in front of my face… all that evidence, but I never bothered to take it into account. And then I heard you tell James. I'm not mad at all, actually I'm pleased. Sirius Black, I give you my blessing. That's what you want, isn't it?"   

"What?" Was it true? After all those times of dreaming it, has it really happened for real? Did Remus really feel what Sirius felt for him? Did Remus really want his own gorgeous, red lips to meet Sirius'? 

"Yeah, I think it's great that you like my sister," Remus replied.

"**_What are you on about?!_**" Sirius bellowed.

"Excuse me," Remus said politely.

"I don't fancy your _sister_. Yuck! That's just gross," Sirius said. "I… I don't care anymore." He went right up to Remus and kissed him. The kiss was lovely, Remus' lips were soft, smooth and silky. It felt like heaven to Sirius, everything about it was so _right_. Except for one crucial part, Remus wasn't kissing back. But he wasn't pushing Sirius back, either. "I'm… I'm so sorry, Remus. I really am…"

"Don't worry about it," Remus said. He traced his finger along Sirius' tanned cheek. They kissed again. Tongues battled and Sirius only just managed to suppress a moan. Remus brushed his fingers through Sirius' long black hair. They suddenly stopped. 

Sirius almost grinned and once again he stopped himself. Remus frowned again. "What is it?" Remus nibbled Sirius' earlobe. 

"You're not smiling, I love it when you smile," he breathed into Sirius' ear. Sirius shivered, even though Remus' breath was warm.

"I look goofy when I smile," Sirius replied.

"You don't." Remus stopped nibbling.

"Oh, please continue," Sirius pleaded.

"Only if you smile, misery guts."

"Fine." Sirius gave Remus a very seductive smile.

Remus was about to kiss Sirius until Sirius stopped him. "What is it?"

"Promise me one thing, Remus."

"What's that?" Remus asked.

"You re-teach James anti-bigheaded lessons."

***

THE END


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